Thursday, 16 August 2018
+++ STOP PRESS +++
My appeal to have my Community Guidelines Strike related to the replica firearm video has been successful and the video has been reinstated. However for the mental anguish and anxiety the Strikes cause I stand by my advice below. Gun videos are not worth it.
For the second time in six months my youtube channel teeters on the brink of extinction thanks to me following advice from youtube's creator academy.
Currently I am banned from uploading. Let me explain here.
Firstly I respect I am playing in youtube's garden and will be compliant with their rules or face mandatory ejection. However, lately, even the eternal optimist in me is not feeling any respect back from youtube because my content seems to be regarded as a turd on their sole. A sole worn increasingly by anonymous stick people who react disproportionately to public opinion.
Why the slow death. Why don't they just put my channel out of its misery and drive me to earning cryptocurrency on dtube.
Well this is where my last bit of optimism comes through - maybe if I adapt my channel it won't die. It'll still be fun, I'll still enjoy putting a show together and maybe - just maybe - the new ultra-conservative youtube will reward me for ignoring creator academy advice and not doing more of what youtube see as successful on my channel.
Ignore everybody. Be remarkable. Dramatise your differentiating idea.
Here are my 5 rules for anyone launching a youtube channel in 2018:
1. No guns. Have zero tolerance on guns. Just don't. Trust me on this. My movie prop guns have got me in so much trouble on youtube despite being my most successful videos borne from following Creator Academy advice. After over a half-million views youtube decided that unboxing a replica firearm was against Community Guidelines. Who knew.
2. No breaking up dolls. Don't be Sid from Toy Story. It'll get you a Community Guidelines Strike for rules against nudity and sexual provocation. I've had to opt my remaining doll videos into the restricted area for people over 18 from whence they can never return. I'm hoping legal adults won't get turned on by dolls. And to be clear this is Barbie type dolls, nothing more.
3. Create your content like everyone is five years old with a watchful momsnet parent with their finger on the flag-video button and just wanting to be triggered. Society has created a class of stick-people that the schwa cannot hold.
4. Always have an exit strategy from youtube. Always. Get some canaries out there too.
5. Subscribe to my channel. This is no sub-for-sub, you'll subscribe to my channel because it's awesome. Also you won't find my channel. It's not the 'miker' channel I'm talking about.
That's it, simple as that. I have to get out of the house and sweat the next few weeks waiting for my Community Guideline Strikes to expire.